Surviving Christmas

 Deciding how big the bird should be is simple... Figure 1 pound per person (you account for bones that way - and should have some left-overs for sandwiches). If you intend to do soup and such afterward, figure another 1/2 pound per body at the table.

Now.........

Two things are absolutely, positively necessary for those baking Christmas turkey for the first time:

Cleaning the Bird

After the bird has thawed, it needs to go into the sink. Pull out the bag with the neck, gizzards, liver and such, and set it aside. Many people like to add the liver and gizzards to their stuffing. The neck will be saved for making soup, if you decide you want to do that.

Next, you want to reach down into the bird and make sure there aren't any other “parts” that are loose in there. You want EVERYTHING out. I know some are squeamish – do it anyway.

Now you want to rinse the inside of the bird with the hose attachment for your sink. Cold water, please! This will remove anything else that shouldn't be in there. Turn the turkey over so the larger hole at his head drains out all that water – and let it sit there for half an hour or so.

Once its dry(ish) again, turn it back over and the next step is up to you. I normally take a pair of pliers and pull as many of the tendons out of the drumsticks as I can get.

This is slightly dangerous work, though – I've pinched myself every time I've done it, and even pliers will slip off those tendons. However, getting them out makes the dark meat much easier to eat.

Finally, you want to check the entire body for feathers, and parts of feathers. These are not only inedible, they are very unpleasant to bite down on. You are not looking for full feathers, even down, but for the hollow tips of the feathers that stuck in the skin. Get them out with those pliers.

Pre-Cooking Preparations

Pre-heat your oven to 350 degrees, and make sure your racks are in position to hold the turkey as well as any other dishes you are going to cook in there. Measure with the bird in the roaster if you are not sure – you want those racks positioned before they get hot!

I own a roaster with ridges in the bottom... If you don't, its nothing to worry about. I would not bother with a meat rack for cooking turkey.

Most birds are going to fit in a large roaster, but you probably are not going to be able to use its lid if your turkey is over about 10 pounds. That's fine – have tinfoil on hand to cover it with.

(Take two sheets of foil long enough to fit over both the bird and fold over the ends of the roaster. Place them face-to-face, and fold over the long edge two or three times to make a really large square – large enough to completely cover the bird without touching it and still fold over the edges of the pot. This will serve well as a lid.)

If you are going to cook the bird with stuffing in it, have that ready, and now is the time to stuff the bird. You can fold the “tail” flap down and secure it with a skewer or toothpick to hold it in the bottom, or just brace your hand there until the bird is about half stuffed.

Once you've got the bird stuffed to your liking, set it breast-down in the roaster. If the legs or wings are sticking out, you can use string to tie them, but I normally don't need to. Sometimes wings can be braced under legs – depends on the bird.

At this point, some people rub butter on the turkey. I normally don't – I just cover it (with lid or foil), and stick it in the oven.

Baking Your Bird

About half an hour to forty-five minutes into baking, you are going to want to start basting your bird.

I use beer.

Yes, I serve my Mother's “drunken turkey” for holidays, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas. (When I consent to cook at Christmas!)

I just grab one of hubby's beer cans, and about twice per hour I pour more over the bird. Grab a second can if you're sipping or if you run out. That's it – no special formula, no pulling up the juices (till I get ready to make gravy – but that's another post). Just keep pouring beer over the entire outside of the bird about twice an hour until its done.

If it makes you feel better, go ahead and set a timer – but I assure you – the only one who's going to be picky over your timing with basting is you. Relax!

This will brown the turkey, and seal in the juices that started running through the meat during that first half hour. I have NEVER had a dry turkey – and the flavor is phenomenal!

Because you are baking this turkey at a relatively low temperature, it is unlikely to burn the skin, and therefore, basting is really for flavor and browning only, rather than to prevent the burning on top and bottom.

While it is untrue that the alcohol “cooks out” during baking, there is so little of the stuff in beer in the first place that its negligible. No child has ever gotten drunk from eating my turkey. Just-so-ya-know.

Special Note on Baking Times!

There are a ton of factors that go into how long its going to take your turkey to be “done.” The three most significant factors are:

Weight of the bird

Has it completely thawed out?

What you stuff it with – if at all

Again – make sure the bird is completely and thoroughly thawed out. That's the best and most key advice Granny can give you.

Not only will your turkey take up to two hours longer to cook (depending on the size of the bird), but if you put it in the oven frozen, all the meat near the bones will remain pink and red, and look completely un-cooked – whether its done or not. Ick.

For a 12 pound bird, I would put it from freezer to fridge the morning of the day before you intend to bake it – at least. Two days is better.

For a 20 pound bird, put him in the warmest part of your fridge 4 - 5 days before you intend to bake. Yes – it takes that long and yes – it is that important.

Some Final Thoughts

I have been known to thaw turkeys in the sink. It cuts out days of thawing time.

HOWEVER - I won't officially advise that for you, because I am told that is “unsanitary” and “unsafe.” Humbug. But – whatever.

You are going to want to bake your turkey for about an hour for every five pounds of weight. You can use the information on the tag if you don't stuff the bird. If you DO stuff him, you will want to add about an extra 45 minutes to an hour if the bird is over about 15 pounds.

I do not now, and have not ever, tested temperature on my turkeys to see if they are done. However, if you are too new at this to figure it out, best to get one with an installed pop-up type timer.

It seems these are standard operating equipment these days, so just check the label. They look kinda funny stickin' out of a bird cooking over a campfire, though! (Yeah... I've been known to do that, too...)

Many Blessings,

GrannySue

PS: I know, I know... There's all sorts of advice out there, and it is all conflicting. There are entire websites dedicated to the subject! There's even the ButterBall hotline... Really - its not PhD material. But - if you have questions, need help, or otherwise want to share something here, please do not hesitate to post a comment below!! I will be here just about daily till Christmas, and I will answer you.

HUGS!!

Granny